Im more afraid than anythin else~

I just cannot hold my tears anymore. All i can do is burst out crying. Though it's not confirmed yet, i think most probably it is.

Alot of questions keep popping out from my mind. Why izit me? How did it happen? How did it happen out of a sudden? I'm bombarded with all these questions till i cant take a breather now. i really cannot imagine how is my life going to be like from now onwards... coz i may be a useless girl from now on...

im scared. im afraid. im paranoid. im frightened. im depressed. im upset. im lost. im helpess. im hopeless. im distressed. im lost at words. im totally lost now. ..lost..

i dont wanna be a burden to anyone. dun wanna be a burden to u. dun wanna be sumone so useless. How i wish everythin will just be a nightmare. And when i wake up tml, i can juz sweat and tear knowing everythin's juz a dream...

call me pesismistic or wateva. im a saddist, remember? Aquariusaddist.