This will be my last post too.

Have a good life karen.

One day

You should find this song familiar. Haha..anyway me and nic were talking then we suddenly thought that this song might actually be very appropriate for the situation. He suggested i learn then sing to u. Ha..my singing so lousy so i put the lyrics here for u to see. Hope you will like it!

:)


One Day.

Broken
Since you left I’ve been broken
Torn apart by my emotions
But I’m still holdin’ on

Coz I believe
One day
We’ll be one heart
Until the end of time
Eternity is ours
If only You’ll come back to me
Oh Baby

Where’s my soul now
Since you left I’ve been dead
But your smile
Is stuck in my head
And I’m still holdin’ on

I’ll be right here waitin’
For you

Appropriate right? Anyway i really hope the performance went well for u. If u can give me a sms when u see this. NIghts...

fly away

this song should be something that you will enjoy if you have heard it before. Too bad i dunno how to upload music if not i will put it here. but here is the lyrics. Hope u like it.

When will you be home?" she asks as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world And now to let me go,
I know she bleeds and yet she says to me
*chorus*
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying "We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

*chorus*
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

This song is actually about the singer and her parents. About her mother's death. I know its not really appropriate to describe our situation as such but i just want you to focus on the chorus cause its really romantic. And i want you to know that as you are flying high in your career and enjoying success, you can keep your eyes focused on the sky and move towards it. Because i will be here praying for you all the way. Even though it breaks my heart to know that we are not together but so far from each other, I love you too much to keep you locked by my side. Baby, fly away and be free. No matter what i will be here to catch you when you fall. :)

i shall let it be

i know its hard for u to believe me now. All that i have done seems to point at the fact that i dont seem to treasure you enough and that i have hurt you so much it seems impossible for us to get back again. I tried for the whole of today to persuade you to get back with me, but u were adamant about not getting back. You have made up your mind, and nothing seems to be able to change that. Your coldness startled me. It seems that the love we once had has been totally wiped off within the space of a few days. Disappoined and hurt as i may be, i know i shouldnt force you. Seeing how you rejected me coolly and calmly today, it seems that you have made the choice which seems the best for yourself. And you say your happy with it. NOw who am I to interfere with your happiness.
I remember saying once to you, if being with me makes u happy, stay with me. If without me you can find happiness, so be it. I will let you go, though its hard, though it hurts like hell, though im probably going to drink myself drunk for the next few weeks, i will do it.

cause i love u.

and love is not something that can be changed over night. When i say it, its forever. If your happier without me, ok. I just want you to be happy baby, with or without me. You say u dont believe i love you, i do. I have a gift for you actually, something i sorta made myself. I want to pass it to you but i think that given the circumstances now its pretty hard. When you need someone to be there for you, count on me, i will be there, as a lover or a friend. True love never dies, is unselfish, is forever.

I love you baby. I know your happy now. I will be behind you wishing you well. take care...and remember always, my promise to u is that no matter wat, the love i have for you in my heart, will always occupy a special place...

its time

im ready.

baby. im ready.

This shall be the last post...

After what u said juz now over msn, i guess this is the only thing i can do now--- step out of ur life now.

I've said enough, i want to be with u. and wanting to be with u is not only physical be with u tt simple. I wan to share ur happiness and burden. i wan to be right beside u to support u no matter wat happens. but ur not givin me any chance to do tt. all u think is tt im emotional unstable and stuffs. i reali dunoe wat else to say. perhaps in ur eyes im not gd enuff for u. perhaps u think im not tt kind of gf who can share ur downs wif u. i feel so hurt when u say im a problem to u. i nv wan to be a problem to u at all. but guess it's too late. since im such a burden, i shall leave and let me be the last thing u hav to worry about... guess that will do u good eh?

And so, this shall be my last entry here... im not going to stress u any further... just go and concentrate on ur family and wateva u need to concentrate on now...

im leaving. u take care.

im feeling hurt by ur words once again~

Am i disturbin u this way?

Well, i dont know. But i guess at least there's a place to pen down my thoughts for you... Cause i know i've been updating and updating this blog for so many times in a day~ Nvm, since u've created this blog for us, i guess i have to fully utilise it right? =)

Been thinking and thinking... Why must it be this way? God brought us together as friends 8 years ago... and since then, we knew each other's existance but lost contact somehow... And 8 years later, god brought us back together but now, as a couple... And then? 1 month 2 weeks later, god separated us... Why? Is he trying to play a trick on us or wat? Haiz~ im feeling so down... I think god hates me...

Dear... i love you...

When can we get back together...

Haiz~

i dunoe how many times must i blog everyday... over here i mean... cause i cant call u or contact u like before... so i just pretend that our blog is u, imagining me talking to u lidat... through typing... haiz~ single conversation~

im missing you again... missing you so badly... so much...

when i was crying and needed ur hug so badly, where were you...

when i wanted to see u so much, where were you...

when im yearning to hear ur voice and be with you, where are you...

im waiting to see u online everytime i log in... even if u dont talk to me, it's ok... just wan to know tt at least ur not tt far away...

i miss ur smses... miss ur calls... miss ur hugs... miss ur kisses... miss the touch on ur lips... haiz~

Just read ur blog

After reading ur blog, suddenly there are so many thoughts that are running through my mind...

Ur rite. sometimes i feel that im like the actress in there, treating the guys aft my ex horribly. perhaps like wat u said, i was tryin to mould someone else like my ex... or mayb im just venting all my frustrations on guys like u... who used to be so patient wif me... who used to just give in to me no matter how horrible i was...

I do feel guilty. And that's when i said sorry. Mayb i shouldnt just force things the way i want them to be. Mayb i should just give u sometime to simmer down and get ur thoughts sorted out. I admit i was in the wrong, alwiz bullying u. But, right now, i only love u alone. I've finally done that... To only missing you and thinking of you for the whole day... only you... yet when i finally made it, you've already left me... That's why i felt so much pain when u said those things to me last nite... I nv know what u said can affect me so so so much. Guess it's because u mean something to me. I remembered u said "you'll only get affected and upset over wat the person said when the person mean something to you..." And when i felt the aches, i know you no longer mean something to me. U mean the world to me~

I know and do agree with the nick on ur msn. "Sometimes the best way to lose someone is to grab hard and not know when to let go". I totally agree with that. But at the same time, when i know your referring to me, i cant help but feel hurt again. Every word u said simply pricked my heart real deep and hard that i can feel my heart bleeding... yes, tt's how painful it is...

I no longer am forcing myself to put my past behind because i've totally let go. I want to give my whole heart to you. You said u dont want shared love, and now im all so ready to devote all the love to u. But guess wat? "We're no longer together now..." was wat u said... can u please, try to imagine how heart-wrecking it is?

I admit im afraid of losing you. Afraid of letting u go. But now i can no longer hold on to u... coz ur no longer mine... All i can do is simply wait... While waiting, i just feel so much emptiness and loneliness around me... My life no longer contains ur unique laughters, ur smile, and u trying to hug me while calling me "baby"...

Im learning to control my emotions and temper. i really am. just that i hate it when u dont seem to care about anythin. i simply hate it when u hang up my call in the middle of conversations and refused to pick up despite me tryin so hard to reach you. hate it when i walked in the rain all the way from orchard to dhouby ghaut just hopin to see u and u refused to show urself. i hope u can start putting ur shoes into mine. wat if it's u? wont u get worked up and agitated and worried and disappointed? i do...

I am ready to shower u with all the love i have... Though it still hurts alot now... but i will still live up to my promises made to u... u can hav the space and freedom u wan now... but please dont keep me waiting for too long... and if u've come to a decision, tell me. dont let me wait like an idiot when u've oredi decided not to continue this relationship wif me anymore ya?

Meantime, do take care of urself.

Your still my dear...

Perhaps...

Perhaps this will be the only way i can say out my thoughts and feelings...
Perhaps you will read this, or mayb not...
Perhaps this blog will be like what u said in the heading... leading to depression n despair...

Perhaps it is only a test god is giving us...
Perhaps we will pass it... or mayb not...
Perhaps we will be together again and our relationship will be stronger...
Perhaps we will nv be back as a couple again...

Perhaps it's just my retribution tt i'll not be loved again...
Perhaps tt's all i deserve aft all tt had happened...
Perhaps now it's my turn to get hurt...
Perhaps i nv show enough love and care...
Perhaps im not understanding enough...
Perhaps im nv good enough for u...
Or perhaps we are not meant to be together in the first place...

Perhaps u wont believe how much i wanna be wif u...
Perhaps u no longer believe when i say "i love you"...
Perhaps u nv know how much i do miss u...
Perhaps u nv believe my promises made to u tt nite...

Perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...

perhaps u dont even love me like u said u do...

Im serious this time...

I've reali set my mind and decided to just leave all the past behind... Holdin on to it lidat is not going to help me, or us... It's only making me miserable... making our relationship sour...

Looked at u at the dinner just now... and suddenly i realised this time when i looked at u, the feeling is different... you were right. last time when i looked at you, my mind was thinkin of somethin. but just now, i was simply admiring you... juz looking at u... juz u...

tt's y i said i wan to be wif u from now onwards... and i will only focus on us, alone. Whatever i promised u juz now, i will live up to my promises...

i dont know how much time do u need. but as i promised, i will wait...

take care my dear...

i miss you badly...

I MISS YOU

just wanna say

...i miss you...